Skuld's Revenge
by Mr Khan
Summary: Skuld tries to get back at Urd for all her meddling by hijacking her TV-powers with a Super NES. Short story, one-shot.


Skuld's Revenge

By Mr Khan

_This was another one I originally composed for DeviantArt, specifically for a contest, that didn't come out so well for the specific kind of story the contest wanted, but it ended up being a good bit of standalone fan-fiction, so I repurposed it into this one-shot. Skuld tries to hijack Urd's TV-travel powers through the Super NES._

Urd was the first one that had to go, in Skuld's mind. Skuld was still determined to pry Keichii away from Belldandy nee-san, but she now knew that had to be a more gradual process. It would take a subtle hand to wedge them apart so she could have Nee-san all to herself again, but any and all subtlety was ruined by Urd and her constant schemes at getting the two of them closer together. Aside from her desire to see their relationship progress quicker, Urd also just liked wrecking Skuld's efforts for fun. Either way, she would have to be dealt with.

In this case Skuld had done what she always did whenever she was confronted with a problem: build a hare-brained invention to fix it. In this case she sought to take advantage of Urd's divine mode of transportation: television. When she pondered how she might take advantage of that, she reached the simple conclusion that when you want to control something that's on the television, you use a video-game system. She immediately set to work, which started with "borrowing" Keichii's Super Famicom for the process. Keichii had gotten used to his electronics being appropriated for Skuld's schemes, so he didn't really mind any more. After Skuld modified things beyond imagining, one of the three goddesses was usually kind enough to magically restore the device to its original functionality.

Skuld used the game Star Fox as the main template, given that Star Fox had the Super FX Chip that enhanced graphics into three dimensions. Using her divine technological know-how, she could modify that into a nine-dimensional processor, something potent enough to tear into the mind of a goddess. She gutted the motherboard from Keichii's PC and haphazardly connected it with wires to the modified Star Fox cartridge. She then modified the motherboard to do some 3D geographical calculations, to be able to send Urd exactly where she needed to go. She also gutted the floppy drive from his PC and wrote a special program that could map the controls of the Super Famicom controller to Urd's actions. Finally, she included a keyboard in the circuit, so that she could get some more fine-tuned control out of it than the Super Famicom controller could.

"How do they even play games with this limited thing?" Skuld pouted at one point. It was only a four-way d-pad (though it could take input from two sides at once), six face buttons, and two shoulder buttons. Fortunately there wasn't all that much she needed Urd to do once she had control, so she mapped it out simply. D-pad to walk, hold R and d-pad to control her right arm, and similarly L for her left, A button to grab, B to jump, X to attack, and Y for one very specific and highly peculiar action. Start and Select would be used for special effects, and the keyboard was to make her talk.

When it was finally done, Skuld waited for the right day, which arrived sooner than she had hoped. Urd was bored out of her mind that day, given that the Nekomi baseball team had gotten into the playoffs, and all the TV channels were either featuring that game, or just showing reruns, knowing that they could not hope to compete for real ratings. Keichii and Belldandy were watching the game in the kitchen as Belldandy prepared dinner, but Urd hated baseball, and was just moping around the house hoping something would happen. It was the perfect scenario; all Skuld needed was some bait…

"Urd, Urd!" Skuld shouted as she tore into Urd's bedroom eagerly.

"Yeah, whaddaya want, Skuld?" Urd said, irritated. It definitely wasn't the day for her to be bothering with any of Skuld's petty concerns.

"Quick! Toshio Hashigawa is signing autographs at the electronics store downtown! But you have to hurry, he's leaving in five minutes!" Hashigawa was the star of Urd's favorite daytime TV drama.

"Five minutes? Damn!" Urd leapt to her feet and rushed towards the door. She paused before she departed. "Thanks, little sis," she said, leaning down and giving Skuld a quick kiss on the forehead. Urd ran into the room with the TV, giggling like a school-girl. "I'm coming, Toshio!" Urd morphed into light and zapped into the TV.

"Gotcha!" Skuld shouted. She leapt towards the Super Famicom and hit the Power button.

"Wait, what?" Urd shouted from within the TV. The letters GCHS came on screen, with the subtext "Goddess Control and Humiliation System, Press Start." Skuld hit start, then the screen changed to a dialog box: "Enter Destination."

"Right," Skuld said as she began tapping the keyboard. "Nekomi Ballpark Jumbotron." She entered the text, and Urd felt herself move. How was that little techno-weasel tapping into her powers like this? Suddenly Urd saw that stupid baseball game in front of her. Crap.

"Yosh," Skuld said eagerly, and switched the TV's input over to Antenna again. She could control Urd from watching the game, now. She would get Urd out of there, and then have her humiliate herself so badly in front of everyone that Urd would have no choice but to return to Heaven and be out of her hair forever! Skuld giggled in anticipation. "Now, Nee-san, let's get started!"

"Look, Belldandy, it's Urd," Keichii said, indicating the TV. The announcers were perplexed, and the crowd was booing her, wondering what this strange woman was doing hijacking the jumbotron.

"Oh. Nee-san must've wanted to see the game after all," Belldandy commented, cheery as ever.

Urd had no idea what she was doing. Why were her powers malfunctioning like this. Why was she at this moronic baseball game? Her face hardened into a scowl, but then she heard it, a voice in her head. _Everyone off this field, I'm going to perform here._ Urd clapped a hand over her mouth to prevent the words from spilling out. "Like hell I'm going to say that!" she roared aloud.

Skuld heard her shouting on TV. "I guess the suggestion needs to be a bit stronger." She wasn't sure how she could do it, and pondered the keyboard. Finally she jammed the caps-lock key, and tried again.

The voice came stronger in Urd's head this time, compelling and irresistible. _EVERYONE OFF THIS FIELD, I'M GOING TO PERFORM HERE._ "I can't… won't…" Urd struggled, then finally succumbed. "Everyone off this field!" she roared, "I'm going to perform here!" The baseball players cleared off the field as security piled on: a number of rough-looking goons with night-sticks rushed her.

"She's not there to watch the game," Keichii said.

"Urd wants to put on a show, I guess," Belldandy replied.

"Attack attack attack!" Skuld shouted. She picked up the controller and moved Urd so that she faced her attackers, then jammed the X button. Urd pointed at her attackers and lightning shot forth. The security guards retreated as quickly as they had come, thoroughly terrified.

Skuld put in some more text. Having succumbed to one command, Urd's resistance had been weakened considerably, and she no longer needed caps-lock. "Hello all!" Urd said. Skuld held L and had Urd wave her hand. "My name is Urd, and I am here to entertain you all!"

_Wait, why did I say that?_ Urd was getting confused. These thoughts in her head, were they hers? It was something that she would enjoy doing, after all; entertaining all these people, to showing off her figure and skills, but she didn't remember ever thinking of this before. The thoughts just kept popping into her head, spontaneously. She was out of control, a tiny part of her knew, but it might be fun to go along for the ride.

"Humiliating clothes, go!" Skuld said, hitting the Start button. Urd's white business suit coat and skirt disappeared, replaced by…

"A bunny-girl suit?" Keichii said incredulously, blushing. "What's she thinking?

"Nee-san is a bit of an exhibitionist," Belldandy said happily, continuing her cooking.

It was indeed a bunny-girl suit, a black one piece that exposed significant cleavage, her tanned legs left bare, bright red high-heeled shoes on her feet, bouncy black bunny ears, and the piece de resistance, the fluffy white tail. It was time for the next step.

"Y!" Skuld said, hitting the Y button. Urd clasped her hands together and spoke a brief, incomprehensible spell, then something else materialized in the outfield near her: a shiny pole of polished aluminum about 8 feet high. Skuld was getting excited, as the next part would seal Urd's fate.

"You're going to enjoy this," she said, then pressed Select.

"Mmn!" Urd squealed, as a new feeling surged through her. She suddenly and fully understood why she was here, in that suit, with that aluminum pole, one that suddenly looked quite appetizing. She could just wrap her arms and legs around it, and… oh.

Skuld held Select down and began moving Urd with the d-pad again. Urd felt strangely amorous, and expressed it with an especially seductive gait. Her hips bounced from side to side with each step as she walked towards the pole. "Now, Urd," Skuld said sinisterly. "We begin the humiliation that will send you back to Heaven and away from Nee-san forever!" Skuld tapped another message into the keyboard.

"Now," Urd said, putting on her best "seductress" voice, "let the delights of my body carry you away…" Skuld hunched over the controller: this was going to take some serious skill. Hold R and L and press up, then up B, then A. Urd extended her hands, jumped forward, and clutched the pole, her body swinging around its polished surface. Skuld went at it with gusto, sending Urd into a mesmerizing dance. She slid on the pole; up, down, and all around, hips gyrating, chest heaving, waist-length white hair flowing behind her dazzlingly. Urd was completely lost in the dance, and Skuld was lost in the effort of guiding her.

Ever since Urd had appeared on the baseball field, the crowd had buzzed with indecision. Many were mad that the game had been disrupted, some were afraid of this woman that traveled via TV and shot lightning, and most were just confused. But as Urd danced, a dominant feeling came over the mostly-male crowd. A chant began in one corner of the stands. "Urd, Urd, Urd, Urd." The chant grew in volume as more and more people took it up. "Urd, Urd, Urd." Many in the crowd came to their feet and started cheering.

"Hey, she's pretty good at this," Keichii observed.

"Yes, and look at how happy she's making everyone," Belldandy added.

In the other room, Skuld saw her plan beginning to collapse. "No! You're supposed to be humiliated! Stop it!" She hastily hit the Super Famicom's power button, hoping to cut Urd off and minimize the damage.

Urd kept on dancing. Unbeknownst to Skuld, she had broken free from her control somewhere in the midst of her pole dance. She was enjoying this, captivating the entire crowd with her pole-dance. She dismounted from the pole with a flourish, and the crowd dissolved into wild applause. "Thank you, thank you! Come on, tell me who you love!" she said, waving at the crowd.

"Urd, Urd, Urd!" the crowd chanted again. Urd knew who was responsible for this. She turned towards the TV cameras and stuck out her tongue petulantly.

"No no no no no no no!" Skuld squealed, pounding her fists against the tatami-mat floor. "Stupid Urd!" She tore the Super Famicom out of its sockets, and pitched it through the door where it smashed against the wall in the hallway.

Belldandy emerged into the hall. "What happened?"

Keichii joined her. "My Super Famicom! What did you do, Skuld?"

"Nothing!" Skuld pouted angrily.

"Oh, did you want to go dance with Urd?" Belldandy asked, always caring.

Skuld collapsed to the ground and began crying. Stupid Urd.

End.


End file.
